Give Children Condoms in School and Teach Them Underage Sex is A+ OK!

When considering whether we should stem the rate of teenage pregnancy by issuing birth control or contraceptives (condoms) in high school I look back to my childhood and how things were 'controlled' then.

I never received sex education from my parents though I do recall some sort of talk sat on the rug in front of the gas fire when I was around 15yrs old. I thought it amusing given that sex really wasn't something I thought about. I had yet to have my first kiss, crossing that 'border' was stressful enough.

There-in the answer lies. Crossing 'borders'. Children are in such a hurry to grow up, hardly any wonder given that many parents favorite phrase to their children when reprimanding them is 'grow up'. It's not one I use. I stress frequently to my children the benefits of being children!

There is a lot of pressure on children to grow up, and there are a few symbols that for children represent adulthood. Those symbols are generally things they are not permitted to do as children. These are:

-Drinking alcohol
-Smoking
-Driving cars
-Working
-Sex

Thus it is a challenge and a feat to achieve any of things in adolescence as it gets them that little bit closer to being an adult. So they think. The real responsibilities and challenges elude them.

Who is to blame for this desperation to grow up? We are. We bombard children with images of young pop stars, sexualised and scantily clad, singing provocative songs and dancing like strippers. Actors in soaps have boyfriends and girlfriends from very young ages and are constantly engaged in some love triangle.

This may be how it is now but this is not how it was when I was at school. Girls did have boyfriends but those who were sexually active kept it very quiet, as they would get a bad name. So it was not something to brag or boast about as it is now. Underage sex (15yrs and under in the UK) was still very taboo and frowned upon. Now it seems less so and that is the problem.

Providing for the minority who were sexually active by giving sex talks in school has actually increased the acceptability of underage sex and with it the numbers of children engaging in underage sex. Thus providing contraception such as condoms and the pill in high schools will increase the problem yet more. I am not anti giving good advice to children and I am not anti giving condoms to those that need them but I do not think a school is the right place for them to be accessed as it sends out many mixed messages not least because they will be seen to be endorsing what is after all still illegal activity which is underage sex.

Where is the follow up? Who are the children having sex with? Maybe their partners are much older than they are or much younger. Maybe there is an element of abuse, manipulation or peer pressure and providing protection without any form of dialogue, counseling, understanding of what situation the young person is in, is irresponsible and parents need to know what their children are up to in order to support, protect and advise them.

As parents we need to make a stand and realise that we have gone a tad too far the other way when it comes to preventing this problem and have instead increased it. I am not anti sex education, nor I am anti contraception for those that need it, but I am anti the parents being kept out of the loop as at the end of the day, the child still lives in the family home and the parent remains responsible for their well being and their actions.

The pill has many health implications and parents should know if their child is taking them in order to provide the appropriate support and advice. Will there be Doctors on hand at every school to give this advice? I doubt it. If children want to have underage sex and you think that education is not going to prevent it, then the best alternative is a sexual health clinic or the Doctor as they are trained to deal with this issue, teachers and school nurses are not!

Giving children condoms or the pill at school is a bad idea for so many reasons not only the ones stated above.

Consider the effects of the pill on women. It can interfere with menstruation, result in acne, headaches, blood clots, and mood swings etc. If the parent is oblivious to their child's 'drug' taking how are they to identify the problem and help them?

Let us not pretend the school nurse will take care of this on our behalf. To date no Doctor has ever properly diagnosed my pill related symptoms or addressed them. I have had to figure it out and resolve it on my own. One form of contraception made me feel suicidal as it disagreed with me so much. Imagine this affect on your child? Your child would not know why they felt that way and how could they ask you for help, given you didn't know they were sexually active or on the pill?

It is a mistake to take away the power parents have to protect their own children and proving children pills and condoms at school is an obscene idea. What next, Viagra?